Some lessons I learned the hard way. And then, if I didn’t fully get it – life threw me more curveballs until I finally got it.

Not having enough money is hard, stressful, and can feel very heavy.

And there is a huge range of things that contribute to money issues and this article won’t cover all of them.

This is about some of the childhood messaging or programming, society expectations, self-sabotage, and really just YOUR personal relationship with money.

It’s an important relationship to consider for all of us, but absolutely essential if you are going to own your own business.

I will mostly share from my experiences and perspective that I have lived with the hope that it will help you with your unique money journey.

1. I DON’T CARE ABOUT MONEY

This is one I embraced for a long time. I’m an idealist, I’m creative, I’m a nurturer and healer – money is beneath me.

This led to me being uninformed, overspending, under-earning, under-charging, not holding good boundaries, being taken advantage of… just a host of problems for decades!

Saying I didn’t care about money was like saying I didn’t care if we had shelter or food. It’s just a basic tool in our society for survival and I was hurting myself by not fully understanding it.

I didn’t want to be crass or tacky so I wouldn’t talk about money – but we lose our power when we keep secrets or won’t face something head on.

I didn’t want to seem greedy so I undercharged – and that made it hard to operate in business and then very money focused all the time (opposite of what I wanted) because of stress.

I didn’t want to seem like money mattered more than people (and it doesn’t) so I wouldn’t enforce appointment cancellation policies or had a difficult time establishing boundaries – but that led to people taking advantage and feelings of resentment.

2. I ONLY NEED TO MAKE A LITTLE MONEY

Another favorite mantra of those suffering from insecurity or a lack of worth or playing the martyr role – and I was stuck in it for years!

Do you know what making “just a little” money feels like?

It constantly feels like one foot away from nothing at all. It’s like someone who is hungry and you give them one bite of an apple a day. All you can think about is food, how hungry you are, and how you don’t have enough.

I thought I was being generous by only needing an “itty bitty” profit but that completely backfired.

Instead, I had to say “no” to a lot of things including giving a discount for a patient (I couldn’t afford it), hiring new staff or giving raises, taking time off, activities with my family, donating to charity, donating my time – it was the exact opposite of a generous state.

I completely underestimated the impact of constant money stress until I was on the other side of this and earning a decent profit. When that stress was gone, I was able to truly show up in a generous and energized way. It was remarkable.

3. WEALTHY PEOPLE ARE BAD

Some are, no doubt – but this is a dangerous myth to stereotype a group in this way. In my personal experience, good people who make more money then do more good things.

I can’t wait to be so wealthy that I can run around like a fairy godmother and do endless good deeds. How much friggin’ fun would that be?!? Sounds delightful.

Characterizing wealthy people as bad also creates an “us vs them” mentality and is a great way to stay on the poverty side because you don’t belong or can’t relate to those that have money.

Well, carve your own way honey!

Start creating new stereotypes about what happens when someone like you makes great money…and all the great things you’ll do.

4. I JUST CAN’T IMAGING EARNING $XYZ DOLLAR AMOUNT

This has held me back a lot – just a lack of imagination and experience with $XYZ dollar amount so then it doesn’t seem real or attainable.

It definitely contributed to me hitting my own glass ceiling.

Three different times I made the same amount the first year in business in three different 

industries. Hmmm…that’s odd.

I managed to make each business profitable and it was multiple 6-figures so it wasn’t like I was slacking – but I was limited by what I thought was reasonable.

Finally, I decided to break past that and have a bigger vision. And I believed I could do it faster and I got the coaching help to provide the guide…And then I did it.

I look back now and just sigh. I made it so hard for myself in the past and I didn’t need to. I just needed a bigger vision.

5. MAKING MONEY IS TOO HARD

Another favorite self-sabotage of mine that I’ve recycled over the years.

I’ve used this as an excuse for why I can not accomplish something and loved to tie it into my health challenges, or relationships, or parenting, or whatever flavor of the month had me say – “I just can’t do this – I’m not capable – I don’t belong”.

Sometimes I throw in “I’m too fat”, “I’m too old”, and “I’m not a dude” just for good measure – when I really want to guarantee failure.

And then I will search for evidence (and when you search, you always find it) of how it’s not working, how people are disappointing me and I can’t count on anyone, how it was a dumb idea and I’m going to break…

When really all I need is a nap and a plan.

Can’t I just go back in time and take all the knowledge and wisdom I have at 50 and give it to my 20 year old self? Please?!?

I HAVE LIVED ALL 5 OF THESE THINGS ABOVE.

I have earned money and at one point owned 8 homes. I have also been broke and on social security disability. I have had to restart and reinvent after a major life challenge. I have earned a lot of money all at one time and I’ve donated a lot of money. I’ve had long periods of time where I lived on a tight budget and said no to every extra. I used to hate sales with such a passion that I wouldn’t say the world and was proud of my poverty mentality, like it was a badge of honor.

What I know is that actual money had very little to do with those things, that it was mostly just all me, where I was in my growth and what I believed was possible.

At this point in my life, I love to talk about money as much as I love to talk about poop and digestion and hormones and parenting and traveling…I’m not afraid of it anymore, it no longer has power over me.

Which leads me to a secret that I absolutely must share with you.

The BEST way to get out of debt, provide for your family, fund that dream is…

SECRET #1 – TO MAKE MORE MONEY!!!

For real!

You can not save your way out of debt. You can not budget your way to becoming wealthy. You can not find just the right job that will end your financial woes.

I’ve tried them all and by far the best was to just make more money.

And that leads me to another secret.

SECRET #2 – YOU ARE YOUR BEST INVESTMENT – HANDS DOWN.

I’ve tried everything else – stocks, bonds, mutual funds, managed accounts, index accounts, AI investing, property lien bonds, crypto, real estate and more…and there is a place for them in your life.

But nothing pays out like you putting in the work to build a profitable business.

Nothing gives you the leverage and large cash windfall that a successful launch or profitable business can generate – while also giving you more control over the input and the output.

You can basically be your own bank.

IF you are willing to do the work.

So, at 50 I’ve finally learned a few things

I don’t hide my strengths, I use them.

I don’t take myself out of the game for my flaws, I own them and address them.

I ask for help and involve others – building a solid team is everything.

While still kind, I speak the truth and don’t apologize when I have to set boundaries.

I express gratitude and thank my family and friends for their love.

I embrace my ambition and visualize myself “having a seat at the table” and I’m “not throwing away my shot” (thank you Hamilton musical!)

And once I got past the money modes of too little, just enough, working hard not to lose it and to a place of being able to breathe and really relax and not feel so stressed – well, then I wanted that for everyone!!!

To get there, you have to release the 5 myths above and embrace the 2 secrets.

Let me add one last tip – yet another gift of turning 50.

Tip – RUN at life!

Really, run at life and live a day fully so that you’ve participated and go to bed actually tired.

No one has time for doom-scrolling when they’ve lived a day fully.

Run at life and take big leaps toward your goals. Live like this is the only life you get – because it’s not a dress rehearsal. We don’t know what’s on the other side but you do know what is here now – so make the most of it.

Run at life because we don’t know how much time we’ve got (sorry for sounding morose, but it’s true!) and there is NO TIME to delay your dreams.

Following that advice has led me many places over the last year from moving to another country, hiring superstars, investing in myself, launching a business and much more.

I regret exactly ZERO of it.

Not everything is a win and not every day is a party – but we tend to regret the things we don’t do, not the swings at life.

So don’t hesitate – run at life!